


The Dreadful Beauty

by Diana_Flynn



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 09:23:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5158568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diana_Flynn/pseuds/Diana_Flynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She watches him, the beautiful blonde boy who has become a fixture at the bar/brothel she buses tables at. He just sits there and waits, and she wishes she knew what gave him that chip on his shoulder. Mutt is her name, and no one cares to remember what her real one is, or even notice her. She doesn’t care either, as long as she makes ends meet . But her life will change when that boy with so much to hide notices her. Everlark Fanfiction Inspired by East of Eden. Takes place in World War I Era, Monterey CA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dreadful Beauty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Demona424](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demona424/gifts).



> This was originally written for the final Prompts in Panem, Dreamscape but unfortunately it did not make it in.

“There's more beauty in truth, even if it is dreadful beauty.”  
― John Steinbeck, East of Eden

 

“You, Mutt! Why is there a dirty corner over there? Clean it up now! What am I paying you for you useless piece…” But Mutt didn’t hear the rest of what her boss said. The door to her private sanctuary had already slammed shut, causing the glasses to rattle and any patrons not drunk off their ass to look up. Not that she hadn’t heard those words a thousand times before, so it didn’t take much imagination to fill in the rest of what she was going to say. 

“I’ll take that for you child.” Mutt turned around to see Cecilia with an apologetic smile on her tired face. She thanked her gratefully, handing over the tray of empty glasses so she could scurry to the back and get the mop. She wished she was like Cecilia - invisible. Her boss didn’t see any of the black staff, they might as well have been fixtures in the room, even 6’4’ Thresh was barely acknowledged. They were less than nothing to her. But not Katniss, she was unfortunately visible, belittled and picked on constantly by her boss Alma. 

It didn't matter, not really. She didn’t matter. She was a 7th-grade drop out, barely able to a read a children’s book and this job was probably as good as it was going to get. Unless she became one of Alma’s girls. But she barely knew what they did in there, with those men, let alone do something like that with a stranger. So instead she was just a go-to girl in the bar and brothel. She did the odd-end jobs nobody else wanted to do, and waited on the always drunk patrons. Money was money though and Alma was surprisingly generous. And without this paycheck they couldn’t survive. She reminded herself of this as she dragged out the mop and started the process of cleaning the “dirty corner” which looked like all other parts of the room, spotless. She ignored the drunken catcalls next to her, the groping hands, and meticulously cleaned the floor, making sure there was not a single speck of dust. 

“Did you hear that those German bastards want to support the Mexicans in fighting us? That pisses me off. President Wilson is right. We need to act and get in this war.” She strained to hear the conversation. She heard so little of what was going on outside this building, all the news she ever got was from the patrons, but they were surprisingly informative. 

“Mutt! Put that mop away, I need you to serve some clients!” She looked up to see a cross Cray behind the bar filling a tray with glass after glass of beer and whisky. “Take this to table four.” She nodded, not bothering to verbalize as she grabbed the heavy tray and scurried to the table of raucous men pounding their fists for their drinks. 

“Hey you’re a pretty thing, why don’t aren’t you in one of the back rooms with the rest of the girls, ready with your legs spread open. I can show you a thing are too,” said a blond boy with ice blue eyes as she put a beer down in front of him. From his clothes and appearance he was obviously from the good side of town. His face had a cruelty that made her shudder, so she just shrugged moving on to the next man. She was used to the propositions, and they usually forgot about her by the time their drink was done or their name was being called to go back. 

“Hey! I was talking to you bitch. Don’t ignore me,” he said, his voice viscous with anger and superiority as he grabbed her wrist. “I bet ol’ Al will let me have my way with you for the right price.” 

“Leave her alone Cato,” a firm voice said next to the door. Mutt turned around and her shoulders loosened at the sight of the boy at the door. He was blond and blue eyed like the other boy but so different. A wariness and distrust hung on his shoulders like a long worn coat, but there was a warmth in his eyes that told her he was better than the usual patrons of this place. 

“What business is it of yours Mellark?” Cato asked with a sneer, gripping her wrist a little harder. 

“None really.” He gave her but a small glance. His voice was unconcerned, like this was more of an inconvenience, but there must have been something in it powerful enough that had Cato automatically releasing her wrist. She immediately stepped away, wishing she could disappear into herself. The tray vibrated violently in her hand and she realized she was shaking with so much contained anger because she just had to take it, day after day.

Peeta limped to the bar and plopped on a stool. His regular pint of beer already waiting for him. He took a heavy gulp before continuing. “Aren’t you waiting for one of the girls? Don’t you want someone prettier with plenty of experience? Why frighten the mouse.” At that moment she did want to dissolve into nothing. 

Cato let out a laugh, but she was spared hearing what he was going to respond because his name was being called by Clove. “Ready for me big boy?” She asked slinking up to him, her claw sliding over his broad shoulder. Her raven hair hung loosely over her bare shoulders. The only thing she had on was a black slip and barely closed robe that contrasted nicely with her ruby lips and milky white skin. Yes, she was prettier than Katniss and far far more experienced. 

The bar settled to it’s usual patter, easily forgetting the dust up that just happened. But then again, this was not an abnormal occurrence at the bar. Especially for Mutt who usually had to deal with this often by drunk horney patrons who were waiting to get their itch scratched. Not that she was special, but she was there and that was enough. 

She wanted to thank the angelic looking boy named Mellark, but she just didn’t know how to approach him. He had barely acknowledged her presence in his previous visits so it felt awkward to come up to him now. He just stared at his drink or towards the hall that led to her bosses office and he didn’t notice her any further. So she just did her job, served her drinks and tried to forget that for one moment someone saw that she was an actual person. 

_________________________

 

Days passed, weeks passed and the boy always kept coming back. Maybe just once or twice in a week, but he became a persistent fixture at the brothel. Yet he never wanted to use the services of the girls. No, he didn’t take interest in that at all. All he did was drink and wait for she did not know what. She took a secret pride that he was different than all the other patrons. She could tell, he was better than the rest. Better than her. And occasionally he would give her a smile. It wasn’t a big one, it was tiny, but it felt like one he only shared with her, full of secrets she wished she could interpret. But he looked her in the eye, saw a person and smiled. She was not just ‘Mutt’. But at the same time she wished he wasn’t here too. He was better than this place. She didn’t know him, but she just knew it in her heart.

Because he was so nice to her, soon the rest of the staff started nicknaming him Mutt’s Boyfriend behind his back. All he ever did was thank her when she served him his drink, or helped her when she dropped a tray. But it was enough and they made fun of her anyway. She hated they did that. It felt like a cruel joke because someone like him could never want a nobody like her. 

“Mutt, are you slacking again? I see a lot of dirty glasses that need to be picked up. Get back to work now.” Her boss said this with an efficient shot as she walked past her, not giving her a second glance. She said her piece and went back to hide in her office. That’s what it felt like to Mutt, that her boss was hiding. Not that she would tell that to anyone else. 

Mutt noticed the boy perked up at seeing Alma. He didn’t just stare at nothing when he saw her. He was suddenly very aware and watchful. She begun collecting dirty glasses next to him, sure it was her job but it was less because she had to and more because she found herself gravitating towards him. He was the sun and she was just a planet orbiting around him taking in his light. She tried not to be disappointed that he didn’t acknowledge her as he stared down the dark hallway. And then it happened, she was about to turn around when he grabbed her wrist. Not harshly, just enough so she didn’t leave, and she wanted to close her eyes at the warm security of his fingers on her skin. Then he looked straight at her, he actually saw her, and she felt like she was not just a mouse scurrying across the bar floor. His lids lowered slightly, a heat burning from his eyes, and his wet tongue licked his plump lip as he took her in. She felt like a woman for the first time in her life. 

“Mutt isn’t it?” he asks, her nickname came out almost uneasily, like it was not natural for him to call her that. When she nodded her head in assent he continued. “Can you show me where Ms. Coin’s office is?” He could ask her almost anything except for that. She turned her body away from him, her hands twisting a glass between them nervously. But she could still feel the lines of his strong body as it leaned slightly up against hers, his hot breath fanning across her neck. 

“I can’t. I don't think you should see her anyways. It's not a good idea. Please don’t start any trouble,” she answered a little too harshly as she turned back towards him, a worried frown forming between her eyes. He was so close to her, she had to step back, but her body seemed to vibrate in his presence. 

“Please. I won't cause trouble. I promise. Just point out the door to me,” His voice was low and husky, like he was sharing a secret only with her. His eyes were a brilliant blue and they held such mystery as he plead her to give him something she had no right to. His body leaned in as his gaze traced from her eyes to her lips. The heat in his gaze strengthened and she felt it pull right in her center. She tightened her legs and hoped he hadn’t notice how uncomfortable he made her. She was drawn to him and wanted to run at the same time. As his head tilted towards her she had to resist the urge to give in to his gravity. It didn’t help that he had the slightest smile on his lip, something that held the promise of what they could do. 

“This is a tough place, I can’t lose my job. If I step out of line, Cray will throw me out on my ear,” she tried to ignore him but he made it so hard when his fingers came up and played with the string on her red blouse. 

“Come on, just point the way, that’s all,” he plead again, low and soft, words only she could hear. “Come on little mouse,” and she felt her walls crumbling, all her sense leaving.

She looked over to Cray and saw that he was preoccupied flirting with Bristel. “Come with me,” she said reluctantly. Alma had been in a bad mood all day and she knew it was a bad idea to take him back there but at that moment she could deny him nothing. 

She silently padded, secretly cringing at every heavy step he took behind her until they entered the long silent dark hallway, leaving the boisterous noise of the bar behind. 

“Her office is down the the hall, last door on your left,” she said pointing the way. He thanked her, looking more nervous than she felt before he made his way down. 

She nervously cleaned the table next to the hallway, hoping Cray wouldn't notice she hadn't moved from her spot as she waited to see what happened next. 

“Get the hell out! Cray! Cray where are you!?” She heard the distinct desperate voice of her very angry boss. She clenched the bar rag she was holding as Cray ran past her. All her vision pinpointed down that dark hall as she strained to see what was happening. Dark bodies struggled, and she could see Peeta clutch a door frame as he plead. 

“Please talk to me! Mother…” 

Then Thresh grabbed at him too. Both men dragged him through the bar and tossed him out the door. This was all her fault. She should have told him no. 

__________________________________

 

“Do you really think Mutt’s Boy is Alma’s son?” Glimmer whispered to Clove. 

It had been two hours since “the event” and he was still there. Not inside the bar, but every time the bar door opened she could see him sitting on the porch, head in hands. To her relief Cray hadn’t bothered with him after throwing him out. He wasn’t causing him any more trouble so it wasn’t worth his time. 

“Sure she’s beautiful but I thought her pussy had claws,” was Clove’s reply making them both giggle and her cringe. 

The door swung open again, and a flash of two blonde braids caught Mutt’s attention. She was out the door without a second thought. And it was not her imagination, in her pink pajamas was her sister Prim, clutching her old stuffed bear as she looked down at the boy. He didn’t acknowledge either of them, still caught in his own world, his head still in his hand. 

“What are you doing here?” She said looking over at her sister.

“This boy is hurt. Do you have your handkerchief?” The six year old asked. With an exasperated sigh, Mutt handed her sister a threadbare cloth and repeated her question. “What are you doing here. You know I don’t want you to leave the house at night.”

“But I had a nightmare. And Levy was making noises with her boyfriend in your bedroom.” Katniss cringed at the little girl’s words. She was going to have a good talking to with her neighbor. Prim gently touched the cloth to the boy’s head, wiping up some blood, and only then did he seem to see both of them there. 

“I can’t take you home until Cray leaves. But I don’t want you going in there.” She tried her hardest to keep her sister separated from her place of employment. But she would surely be fired if Cray knew she left early. 

“I’ll watch her,” the boy said suddenly. “Until you can come back out, I’ll watch her.”

She didn’t feel like she had any choice, and other than what happened tonight, he had only ever been polite. “Okay, but stay here on the porch. I should be out in half an hour,” she answered reluctantly. 

“My name is Prim. And this is my sister Katniss. Isn’t that a beautiful name? What is your name? Did you get in a fight? You’re not supposed to fight.” Katniss’ sisters ears turned red at her words, but she could never stop the little girl’s innocent candor. 

He looked up at Katniss surprised, almost like he was looking at her for the first time, before shaking his head and turning to Prim.

“Yes you are right. It is a beautiful name. And my name is Peeta. Peeta Mellark. It’s nice to meet you Prim,” he said shaking her small hand formally. She giggled before gently patting his cut again. “And it is nice meeting you Katniss,” he said looking up at her. She just nodded her head before going back in, hearing “Mutt!” ring out in the bar.

____________________________________

“Do you walk home by yourself every night?” 

Katniss had come out as soon as Cray had left for his room. Cecilia was kind enough to cover the rest of her shift so she wouldn’t have to come back. She found Prim asleep curled at his side, his hand gently stroking her silky blond hair. He insisted on walking them back down the dark road that lead to their old shack they called home, and he easily carried the still sleeping girl on his shoulder. 

“Yup,” she answered simply to him, not knowing what else to say really. 

“Huh.” Was his only reply as he looked at three drunk men cackling on a house stoop. “Prim is right by the way. Your name is beautiful. What does it mean?”

“It’s just a flower from a tuber plant. Nothing special.” 

He looked unsatisfied with her answer, but he didn’t push, and they walked the rest of the way in silence. Levy came running out of her home, buttoning up her blouse, looking panicked until she saw little Prim in Peeta’s arms. Katniss put her finger to her lips, a stern look in her eyes, silently ordering her not to wake up the sleeping child. She didn’t have to say that there would be a conversation later on. The girl quickly left, her boyfriend in tow, both looking sheepish. 

Katniss let him into her small home, and tried not to think about the dishes in the sink, the dirty laundry in the corner, or how old all the furniture looked. Based on his brand new clothes alone, she knew he lead a comfortable life. 

She pointed him to her sister’s room, and he gently lay her down on her tiny bed. Katniss softly closed the door behind her, and they walked back towards the door. She didn’t know why, but his large presence in her home made her feel safe for the first time in years, like she could relax. But she shook off the thought, knowing he was a virtual stranger who she would never see here again. She still couldn’t control the shiver she felt when she realized he was about to walk out the door. 

“Look Katniss, I’m sorry about the trouble I caused today. I hope you won’t get in trouble because of me.” 

She just shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. If it’s not this, it’ll be something else I get in trouble over,” she answered. A concerned look crossed his features, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Well have a good night,” he said opening up the door. He paused like he was considering something, and turned around. “And I don’t care what you say, I think Katniss is a beautiful name. And special too.” With that, he closed the door and she just stared at the peeling paint as she heard his heavy step, that tell-tale limp, go down the steps and down the road. 

__________________________________

Peeta came back to the bar every night after that, not just a handful times a week. He no longer tried to see Alma, but sat at his usual place at the bar, drinking by himself, not really engaging with anybody. Nobody, except for her. Now he smiled largely every time he saw her, saying “hello Katniss” softly so no one heard that he knew her real name. They only passed a few pleasantries as she stayed busy in the bar, but now her job didn’t feel so bad knowing he was there with his warm smile every time she walked by him. 

The biggest difference was that he walked her home every night after her shift. He insisted despite the scowl she would give him when she saw him waiting for her at the door. He respectfully kept his distance as they walked down the road, his hands always tucked in his pockets. At first not much was said between them, but slowly, very slowly they started to share more with each other. He first asked her what her favorite color was. It was green and his was orange. Not just any orange, but that of the sunset. And it built from there. Peeta talked about how happy he would be to graduate high school at the end of the year and never see its doors again. He talked about his father, a baker that he loved so much, who he would do anything for. And there was his brother Rye, his fraternal twin who he admired for being so perfect. He was athletic, handsome, nice, loved by all and never got in trouble like Peeta. Although it was hard for her to imagine anybody as good as Peeta, and she shyly told him so. He laughed at that, no humor in his voice as he said, “Trust me sweetheart, I’m not the good one. But I’m the smart one.” 

“Why do they call you Mutt?” He asked her one day. She didn’t mind the name, but the subject matter was a hard one. But after a moment, she shared with him that her father was half Ohlone Indian. He had fallen in love with her white, well off mother, and they ran away with each other when both families disapproved. They lived poor but happy in their little shack, the same one she still lived in now, here in Monterey. She had been called Mutt since elementary school, a taunt that eventually stuck as her name. She didn’t care though when she had her family. But her mother died giving birth to her sister Prim when she was twelve. Her father went downhill after that, taking comfort in a bottle. He died only a year later, found washed ashore of the Bay. She never found out what exactly happened to him. She dropped out of school, found a job at Alma’s and had been working there ever since, just little Mutt trying to make it day by day. They never talked about Alma, or if it was true she was his mother. 

She didn’t know why she shared so much with Peeta, or he did with her, but she trusted him. She realized that he was the closest thing to a friend she had. And this made her happier than she had been for a long time. If she really looked deep in her heart, she wanted more than friendship but she knew that could never be. First their social standings were completely opposite ends of each other. He lived a comfortable life in Salinas, well educated and expected to go to college. While she would be lucky just to keep the job she had. But the biggest obstacle was a girl named Delly. A girl that when he talked about her, his whole face lit up because of everything that was wonderful about her. She was the sweet, smart, blonde blue-eyed beautiful girl next door he grew up with. It didn’t matter she was dating his brother, he clearly thought the world of her. She owned his heart. And Katniss with her dusky skin, dark hair, calloused fingers and threadbare clothes could never live up to that. 

She knew this time with him wouldn’t last. One day he would give up on Alma and he would not show up at the brothel again. So she didn’t think about what could have been. She enjoyed every moment she could have with him like it might be the last. 

______________________________________

Katniss was late to her shift. She looked up at the sky, saw the sun dipping behind the trees and new she had taken too long spending time with poor Prim who was nursing a cold. She didn’t need to see the clock over the bar to know that Cray would be yelling in her face, spit flying the moment she stepped in. So she started to run, hoping every step would miraculously get her less in trouble. 

She skidded to a halt just before she reached the steps at the sight before her. Alma was in her finest day clothes walking back towards the brothel, but what stopped her cold was that Peeta was by her side. His hands were clutched in front of him, and Alma did not look… mad, or even slightly put out, just slightly amused. 

“Well come on boy. I’m tired of you following me around. Let’s go to my office and talk,” Katniss heard as they stepped into the building. 

Katniss cleaned, served drinks, and restocked the bar nervously as she waited for Peeta to come out. It didn’t take long, but each moment felt like a lifetime until he finally did. To her relief he came out with a large smile on his face, and a smile spread on hers in response. She saw him stuff a large wad of bills into his jacket and her smile wavered. Confusion filled her, thinking that after all this time, he just wanted money from her boss. He was better than that. He nodded his head at her, indicating to walk out with him. Luckily Cray was out on an errand so she followed him without hesitation. 

“Did you see Katniss, she talked to me,” Peeta said excitedly as he practically bounded down the steps. Katniss tried to keep up with his long fast strides as he quickly made his way down the road, and talked even faster. 

“She finally talked to me. And she gets me. Now I know where I get my darkness from, it’s from her. She get’s me. And she’s loaning me money. I told you about my father losing all that money on his venture to use ice to transport produce across the country right? Well I’m going to get it all back for him. Plutarch Heavensbee is going to let me invest in beans with him. We are getting into the Great War and that is where the money is going right now. My father will get all his money back and will no longer be the laughing stock of the community. He’ll see that I am just as good as Rye. Maybe mother will even come back too. Things are going to work out.” 

He halted suddenly and turned towards Katniss. “You have tomorrow off right?”

“Umm… yes?” She answered more as a question, wondering where he was going with this. 

“I want to take you and Prim out for a picnic,” he exclaimed, his eyes bright with excitement. 

“But what for?” She asked, confused that he would want to do anything like that with them, but her chest filled with unexpected warmth. 

“Because you are my friend and you deserve it. I want to celebrate with someone and you are the only one who knows, or cares. So what do you say? I’ll bring everything, you just have to show up. Please say yes.” 

It only took her a minute to think about. It had been so long since she actually did anything fun, she couldn’t even remember what it was. “Okay, yes,” she answered, fighting the smile from overtaking her face. 

His large warm hands grabbed her upper shoulders and suddenly she felt his soft lips kiss her cheek. “Things are going to work out now Katniss for the first time in my life. I’m sorry I can’t walk you home tonight. I need to see Plutarch right away but I promise I’ll be here tomorrow at noon to pick you up. Thank you so much for being my friend.” He left a stunned Katniss touching her cheek, hoping that this meant things would work out for her too. 

____________________________________

 

“Katniss! Katniss! I have a gift for you!”

“What is it Little Duck?” Katniss asked as her little sister came running up to her. She could barely move, so stuffed from all the food Peeta had brought. She couldn't ever remember a time where she ate so much. While she lay there unable to move, she couldn’t help but admire the unending energy of her little sister who popped up right after eating. 

“For you!” She answered cheerfully before giving her a bunch of dandelions that was overflowing from her little hands that she had pulled in the vast meadow where they had made their picnic.

“Why thank you! These are beautiful!” she answered giving Prim a big smack on the forehead, making her little sister giggle before she ran off to gather more flowers.

“Prim don’t go too far!” Her little sister’s only response was a joyful laugh as she got distracted by a butterfly floating above her head, her two shiny blonde braids bouncing behind her as she ran. This was the happiest she’s seen her little sister in a long time so didn’t push it as she kept bouncing around the field. 

Katniss heard a deep chuckle next to her and turned to see Peeta lying on his stomach, head resting on his hand as his piercing blue eyes looked up at her. She realized she rarely saw him in daylight, and the dim lights of the brothel muted how beautifully bright his eyes actually were.

“What?” She asked smoothing out her skirt, her only good outfit, feeling awkward under his stare. People would call her simple blouse and skirt her Sunday best, if she actually went to church. 

“It’s just you're really amazing with her that’s all. I like watching it. I didn’t grow up with a mother or mother figure. Our housekeeper Haymitch was probably the closest I got, and his personality would be best described as gruff. Not that I don’t appreciate all he’s done for us. Anyway, it’s just nice to see you two.”

She looked over at her little sister, now serious in her flower gathering duties. She was so young when she started to take care of her. All she ever focused on from the beginning was survival. It didn’t even occur to her that she was in essence a mother to her sister. 

“I did what I had to do, that’s all,” she said simply, but he let out a frustrated noise. 

“It’s more than that Katniss. You don’t give yourself credit. Raising someone does not make a mother or a father. I see that you would do anything for your sister.” He ran a hand through his hair, and she could tell his drifting away from her, probably to his own unhappy family life. 

It was true, Prim was her world and she would do anything to make sure she was happy. She looked down at Peeta, his eyes seriously studying her, and she wanted to push his wildly curly hair back. Her palm itched to comfort him, seeing an old pain there. 

“So how did you find out that Alma was your mother?” She was compelled to ask.

He shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal even though she knew it was very much so. 

“I’ve heard here and there. The bar in town mostly. Drunk men are gossips. Look, I don’t expect Alma to become mother of the year or anything. It’s just nice you know?”

She didn’t know, so she asked. “What’s nice?”

He took a moment and pulled up a dandelion next to him and twirled it in his fingers. “To know where my bad comes from. My father and brother are so good. They never step out of line, never make mistakes. I mean how many teenagers do you know who frequent the places I do? It’s just nice to not feel so different.” 

He offered her the small flower, and before she knew what she was doing, took his hand, crushing it between them. 

“Why do you think that? You are the nicest person I’ve ever known. You are the one who’s trying to help his father. You don’t even use the girls… services. Look at what you did for Prim and me today. It has been the best day I’ve ever experienced.” 

He just shook his head, not looking at her, and stared at their link hands. 

“You’re so pure Katniss,” he said in wonder. 

“What are you talking about? I work at a brothel." The last word came out as a whisper as her face flushed red and she can tell that this confirms his last statement. She tried to pull her hand away, but it just made him grip it harder. 

“But you don’t really ‘work’ at the brothel. And even if you did I don’t think that would change the fact that you are so damn pure. And you have it totally wrong about me sweetheart. Just because I don’t have sex with the girls doesn’t mean I’m a saint Katniss. It just means I’ve never had to pay for it. Girls don’t date boys like me, they do other stuff.”

“Ohh…” Katniss can feel her cheeks redden deeper, and she ducked her head in vain hope he didn't see her blush. Of course he didn’t need to pay. He was handsome, young and well off. Any girl would want him. 

He finally let go of her hand and she started to fix the crushed daisy that he left there. 

“Anyway thank you Katniss.” 

“For what?” She should be the one thanking him today. 

“For coming on your day off. For giving me the best day I ever had too. For being my friend. Delly would would just love to meet the two of you. Maybe one day we can all do this together.”

She had forgotten about Delly. She looked down at her blouse, feeling it must look woefully plain compared to what Delly would wear. The perfect girl he really loved. Sweet, beautiful, and smart. Everything she knew she wasn’t and could never be. And in that moment she realized that she was falling in love with Peeta, but there was nothing she could do about it. The only end for her was heartbreak. She looked down at the crumbled dandelion, and closed her hand around it. 

“That would be nice Peeta. I would like that,” she said hoping she sounded like she meant it, even if her heart throbbed painfully in her chest. 

He looked like he was about to say something when Prim interrupted him. “Peeta I have something for you too!” 

“What is it beautiful?” He asked, giving her a sweet smile. 

She handed him his own bunch of flowers and in return he gave her a kiss on the cheek. The dark thoughts for a moment dissipated. She wouldn’t do this again with him, it would be too hard, but she would enjoy the moment while she could. 

____________________________________

 

The world had crashed, and it was Peeta who devastated it. The night started off like any other. Katniss was cleaning up vomit in the corner but she didn’t care because Peeta would be coming in soon. He had kept his word and still came every night. Days, weeks months passed by and he had barely missed a day. The only difference now was that he visited Alma for half an hour when he came. Sometimes she would even hear laughter coming from her office and everyone was happier because she was too. 

Peeta always looked exhausted, bags under his eyes from all his work whenever he was not at school or not traveling all the way to Monterey. She wondered when he slept. He told Katniss he would visit the farm every day to see his beans grow, happy at the investment he was making, excited that with America officially involved in the War now, he had made the right decision. 

Tonight she anticipated would be the happiest of nights. It was his father’s birthday. He and Delly had spent a week planning a surprise party for him, growing closer themselves every day. The best part was Peeta was going to present his father the money he worked so hard for. He was going to tell his father he no longer needed to keep his extra job at the draft board to make ends meet. They could pay off the debts on the bakery. He couldn’t wait to see his father’s face when he told him, and she couldn’t wait until he came in to tell her how it went. She didn’t expect what was to come instead. 

It was still early on in the night when Peeta came in. Her surprised smile faded as she took at his countenance. His jacket and tie were both askew, hair obviously run through too many times, and he wavered on his feet in the way that told her he was beyond drunk. The worst part was his face, it was so pale and grim she almost didn’t recognize him. And his eyes, usually so beautiful in it’s clear blue, were cloudy with a pain so acute she felt like her own heart was going to tear apart. 

“Peeta why the hell have you taken me to a whore house?” Only then did she notice the boy next to him. It was clear he was Peeta’s brother, so similar in appearance did they look. Peeta was right, he was beautiful in his way. Long and lean compared to Peeta’s strong stocky body, hair perfectly coiffed and clothes just as neat. 

“Come with me brother. There is someone I would like you to meet.” His voice was so cold it sent chills down her spine as he made his way to Alma’s office, his wary brother following him. It was like the calm before the storm. Everyone just knew something was about to happen, and the usual noise of the bar sounds muted as everyone waited. Katniss slowly slunk down the hall behind them anxious to see what was going to happen. 

“Peeta?” She heard Coin say, almost hopeful. It was soft, but she could hear Peeta clear deadly voice as he spoke. 

“Rye, I want to introduce you to your mother. That perfect saintly woman you thought died when we were born. The woman you always tell me would be so disappointed in me if she knew who I was? Well she isn’t. She’s like me. She never died. She shot father and ran away from him, from us. She owns this brothel. Everyone knows she’s still alive. Everyone but you. Mother, meet your perfect son Rye.”

“Noooo…. Nooooo…” She could hear the other boy practically scream like he was losing his mind before the door slammed shut. Peeta strode down the hall looking at nothing, not seeing her as he walked out the building leaving devastation in his wake. 

“Peeta what is going on?” 

“Leave me alone Katniss!” He practically screamed, turning on her. “I know how you see me. I know you see me as good. I’m not good. You are the one who is too pure for this world. I just ruin everything. I always have. I always will! So it’s time you see it too.” Tears slipped down his face as he yelled, and all she wanted to do was hug him and take the pain away. But he ran then, an awkward ungainly run with his limp, and she didn’t stop him. 

His brother ran out afterwards, a crazed wild thing, completely opposite of the perfect boy who had come in. He ran screaming into the night, saying over and over again “It’s not true.” 

She walked back into the brothel, continuing her work in a numb state like nothing had changed, but it had. It would never be the same. Alma Coin had shut herself in her office and everyone was too afraid to ask if she was okay. It was not until the next morning that Cray finally broke open the door, realizing it had been too quiet in there, only to find her dead from an overdose of opium. 

_______________________________________

 

Katniss sighed as she stacked the last of the clean dishes away in the cabinet, hearing laughter spill out from the dining room. Her day was over and she was ready to go home. It had been half a year since she last saw Peeta and she still had no hope in understanding the events of that awful night. Since then life had actually changed for the better for her. Greasy Sae, the owner of the brothel two doors down bought the building but instead of keeping it a brothel, she turned it into a restaurant and boarding house. 

“Times are changing child,” Greasy Sae said. “They’re going to close our houses soon. They gotta blame somebody when bad things happen. So I gotta change too.” 

Cray was fired, the girls let go, but Katniss was kept. She was paid more now as a legitimate waitress, also taking extra hours here and there cleaning rooms to make more money. For the first time in forever she was actually making ends meet, Prim was well fed, and well clothed. She wished this made her happy, but it didn’t mean anything knowing Peeta was out there somewhere and she didn’t know where he was or if he was okay. 

“Now don’t forget your day off is tomorrow child. I refuse to let you work anymore, you have been doing too much as it is. I’ll boot you right back out if I see you,” said Sae as Katniss was gathering her things so she could leave. 

“Okay, okay, I won’t!” Katniss answered, a laugh in her voice at the stubborn old lady. She looked forward to spending the entire day with Prim, maybe having a picnic. She stepped out the door and halted as she saw a familiar mess of curly blond hair. Peeta was sitting on the steps, clutching his cap in his fingers as he stared out off in the dark night. Even stunned she couldn’t help admire how he looked informally attired in his pants and suspenders, only a simple white shirt stretched across his broad muscular back.

“Peeta?” She asked tentatively. He looked up and smiled at her sadly. He reached a hand up and she gladly took it, squeezing it tight as she sat next to him. She never wanted to let him go. 

“How are you doing?” She asked. 

“I’ve been better,” he said, his throat tight with tears. 

“Please tell me,” she pleaded. He put his head on her shoulder and he started to speak. She finally learned how painfully inadequate he actually felt next to his perfect brother. How his father always tried to push him to be a better person and he never felt like he could match up. Once he met his mother he realized he was too much like her for his father’s own comfort. Now he realized that the money was just a way to buy his father’s love. 

At the surprise party, before he could give his father his present, Rye announced that Delly and him were engaged to be married, to the surprise of all of them, including Delly. Not only was the money a poor second place to that kind of a gift but his father absolutely refused to take Peeta’s present, saying it was blood money since it profited off the war. He signed too many boys up to go to war and die to accept such a gift. 

“I lost it Katniss. My brother mocked me. Mocked me about trying to bribe my dad. Told me to stay away from Delly too like I was just some criminal. So I took him to see mother. He has had this dream of her since he was a boy, weaved her to be this perfect beautiful person. He fashioned himself to be like her. I knew this would break him, I wanted to break him...and I did. And mother...” He started crying then and she silently squeezed his hand until he continued. 

“He ran off and joined the army that night, going across the county line so dad wouldn’t know. My father had a stroke when he found out. I’ve been taking care of him ever since and I don’t think I can ever repay him for my actions. But I’m going to try Katniss. I’m determined to be the good son I’ve failed so miserably to be.” 

“Peeta look at me,” she said tugging his hand. He turned, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand that was not holding hers. “You are not perfect and I don’t want you to be. But I want you to know that you are a good man. You might not want to believe me, but I see who you really are and I… I love who you are. Your father loves who you are too. I know it. You just try your best all the time, I see that. That’s all that matters. You don’t have to be anybody else but you.” 

He let go of her hand then and wrapped her in his arms, squeezing her tight. “Thank you.” He muffled into her shoulder. They stayed like that for countless minutes and she felt such relief being able to comfort him like this. 

He pulled away from her, and she looked up with questioning eyes as he cupped her cheeks. “There is something else Katniss. I didn’t ever want to come back to this place, I was so ashamed. But I had to, for you. The longer I stayed away the more painful it became. Then I realized it was because I left a piece of my heart here when I ran away. I realized it was because my heart is joined to you. I regret so many things, but one of my biggest regrets was leaving you behind. I love you Katniss. And I don’t think I can ever be apart from you again.”

“But what about Delly?” Her voice shook from emotion. She couldn’t quite believe the words she was hearing. It was everything she hoped for but never dared to dream would happen. 

“I care for her, I do, but as a friend. I built this perfect fantasy around her, and not even she can live up to that. But you are real. And you are beautiful in so many ways. I think I can find my own redemption with you. If you’ll have me Katniss.” Her answer was to lean into him, her lips aching to finally know what it would be like to touch his. A smile flitted across his lips before he accepted the invitation. And their kiss was more perfect than she could ever imagine. His soft perfect lips opened to hers so that his tongue could gently coax hers out, turning a sweet touch into something sensuous and passionate. For being a girl who worked in a brothel, she had never had real life experience like this before. She never knew it could make her feel so wonderful and she never wanted it to stop. 

She finally pulled away, clutching his shoulders as she caught her breath. “Peeta, can you please take me home?” Her eyes spoke more than the simple words she gave. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, his thumb stroking shoulder, reassuring her that he would respect her wishes. 

“I’m sure,” she said with a strong and clear voice. They walked to her home, hand in hand with goofy smiles on their faces. Katniss felt like the road was never ending, and by his quick pace, she could tell he felt the same way too. 

When she arrived home, she thanked Levy for watching after her little sister, ignoring the smirk on the girl’s face as she took in Peeta. Katniss peeped her head just enough into Prim’s room to make sure her sister was asleep before they both tip-toed past quietly, and into her own small bedroom. 

She swallowed her nervousness as his fingers thumbed the buttons on her blouse 

“Will you allow it?” he asked her almost shyly. 

“I’ll allow it,” she answered. He reverently undid the buttons, taking his time as he revealed her simple chemise underneath. He then unlatched her skirt, sliding it over her hips until it fell to the ground. She covered her stomach, embarrassed she wasn’t wearing a corset like most proper women, but it’s tight constriction impeded her busy work day and no amount of tightening would give her the curves and bust that men desired. 

“Don’t hide from me,” he answered softly, his voice shuddering with what she realized was desire. He fingered the strings before loosening it, sliding the cotton off her shoulders slowly, feeling the soft skin of her shoulders along the way before the chemise fell off completely, leaving her just in her garters and stockings. 

He kneeled in front of her, looking up at her with reverence, his hands clutching her small waist. She could feel her nipples pucker more from that look than from the cold of the room. “You’re so beautiful Katniss,” He said before he kiss her breast. “So very beautiful,” he repeated before moving to her left breast. His tongue flicked out, circling her nipple before he started to suckle it. She let out a gasp, clutching his hair so her knees wouldn’t give out as he continued a path down her sternum, to her belly, kissing each hip bone before he released her garter and pulling down her stockings. He slid them all the way down and she smiled at him as she stepped out of each. He looks at her with so much adoration, her shyness is in pieces on the floor, mingling with the clothing there. 

“Please Peeta, can I do the same?” She asked, tugging him up and he complied. 

She did the easy part first, helping with his shoes and socks, then pulling down his suspenders. With shaky hands she unbuttoned his pants, pushing them down until they fell to the floor. She lingered a moment on the deep scar on his knee from an accident he had as a child, trying to prove to his brother he could jump from a higher point. 

She started on his shirt next, down she went, with each button revealing more of his skin. Finally she pushed off his shirt, revealing a great expanse of skin. She smoothed her palms over his chest, feeling his breath becoming heavier as she explored his muscular body. Her hands slid from his pectoral muscles, around his nipples, down his tight abs until she reached the line of his underpants. She fingered the downy hair she found there until she finally pushed it down. 

She bite her lip down, seeing his cock for the first time. Her first of any cock. It was long, thick and pink as it bobbed in front of her, begging to be touched. She bit her lip nervously, realizing she didn’t know how it was going to fit. “Can I?” she asked wordlessly, and he gave a nod yes. Now she was grateful for all the unwanted advice she received from the brothel girls, as she took it into her palm, feeling the warm soft skin, covering such firmness. He kissed her deeply then, pulling her forward by the shoulders, as she kept stroking him back and forth, enjoying how his thickness become even more firm from her ministrations. 

 

“Katniss…” He says with a strained voice after his lips release hers. “I need you now.” 

She slide under the sheet then, opening up the blanket wide enough so he could join her. It felt so easy having him there nestled between her legs. His hot member pulsing at her thigh, ready to be joined with her. He was so careful and sweet with her, any fear she had melted away. He took his time, using his fingers first to stretch her out, touching a small hot piece of flesh she never dared to herself; making sure she was ready. It was only when she shuddered from her first ever orgasm, created with his deft expertise, did he position himself at her opening. When he entered her, he did so slowly, pushing and pulling back by inches until he was sure she is ready for him to break into her fully. 

“Let me know if it’s too much,” he said, waiting for her to say yes before he jutted his hips, pushing all the way into her. They both groan, him in pleasure, her in pain as her broke through her innocence. And he waited, as sweet as ever, kissing her forehead until she told him it was okay to move. The sharp pain finally dulled and then faded completely, until the heat of pleasure once again coursed through her body. She felt so gloriously full. And it was Peeta surrounding her, filling her, completing her.

He whispered loving words in her ear as he started to move faster, from her pleasured pants. He told her about how much amazing she felt, how much he adored her, how happy he would make her, how he couldn’t live without her. She gasped out his name, feeling yet again the tight coil of her orgasm, before he emptied into her, filling her with a warmth that she was sure spread into her entire body and made a home in her heart. 

They lay tangled in her sheets, his chest on hers, and she ran her fingers through his soft curls amazed at what they just did. He pulled away slightly just so he could look up at her. “Katniss, will you marry me? We can become a family. You, me and Prim. Come home with me tomorrow, there is plenty of room in the house until we marry. I just don’t want to be parted from you. I love you so much.”

She didn’t have to think about it. She couldn’t stand the idea of Peeta leaving tomorrow either. Six months had taught her the pain of separation from him.“Yes, Peeta, I will marry you.” 

“I can’t believe this is real? Is this real Katniss?”

“Yes this is real.” She said with a laugh. “I love you too Peeta.”

He kissed her so hard, she was sure her lips would look bruised tomorrow. They were joined again, moving faster this time, Peeta so enthusiastic after her promise. She smiled into his shoulder thinking about those last few hours, and the words they had traded. She bursts with joy, knowing she would leave the name ‘Mutt’ behind. She was to become Katniss Mellark and together they would take care of Prim. Together they would help his father get better. And their life would not be perfect, but it would be damn good.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by screen tests that James Dean did with Lois Smith for East of Eden. The chemistry between the two of them was off the charts but she was only given a small role. So my mind came up with this "what if" scenario. Thank you to demona424 for being my beta and pre-reader. She also loves this movie (and book) as much as I do so she was an amazing amount of help. Find me on tumblr! dianaflynn22.


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